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Your engagement ring is going to be the one thing that you’re going to be wearing everyday, for the rest of your life. That’s pretty huge – not even your favorite pair of jeans gets that much wear. It’s so important to make sure it’s something you actually like. So why do we feel so weird about asking for what we want? Why does everyone make it seem like their partners just magically knew what their dream ring was?

One little known secret: sooo many people had some sort of say in what engagement ring they got, even if they make it seem like it was all one big surprise. In fact, it’s very rare for someone to have given almost no direction at all when it comes to their ring. You shouldn’t feel weird or guilty about voicing your thoughts on what you want, but we understand that it can be scary. So whether you want to subtly hint at certain rings you like, or you are someone who lays it all out on the table, here are six ways you can help give your partner a little nudge in the right direction.

1. Use Social Media:

The easiest and most subtle way to spark a hint about the engagement ring you want is over the thing we use everyday – social media. I’m sure you’ve heard all about the ol’ leave your Pinterest board open on your laptop trick, but while a great idea in theory, it’s not always guaranteed that your partner will actually see it. If you’re feeling more bold, tag your partner directly in a ring you really love on instagram, they’ll get a notification so they’ll have to look at the image. You can also get creative and use your instagram stories. We just made GIFs from our custom engagement rings that you can virtually try on by using the GIF function your instagram stories. Search “Spark a Hint” in the GIF search bar, try them on and then send the ones you like directly to your partner, or send to a friend, or post to your story for a more indirect hint.

One unique way to use your phone to spark a hint: How about setting your phone background to a picture of a ring you like? It’s the perfect mix of subtle and direct, because it’s guaranteed that your partner will look at your phone background at some point whether they’re pulling up directions to dinner in the car or grabbing it for you when you forgot your phone at home. It’s a guaranteed thought starter. We knew this was a great way to start dropping hints, so we made our phone backgrounds for you to download. You can find them here or on our instagram in our story highlights.

2. Sign them up for some emails:

Most jewelers and jewelry designers will have some sort of email list. A great way to subtly drop hints to your partner about the ring that you want would be to sign them up for the email list of your favorite jeweler or designer. They won’t know that is necessarily came from you, and they’ll be getting engagement ring tips and tricks directly in their inbox. It helps both parties. You can sign your partner up for our email list here, or send them our free engagement ring guide that goes over everything they need to know before they buy an engagement ring.

3. Be Vocal About Your Opinions:

Is there a celebrity you really love who just got engaged? Are any of your friends engaged? Bring that person up in conversation with your partner and talk about what you like or don’t like about their engagement ring. Example: “Did you see Katy Perry’s engaged? Pink isn’t my color but I love that look.” or Justin’s lavender grillz were soo cool, I’d love to have lavender stones to wear everyday.”

See? Easy! However, this isn’t the most direct way of approaching it. If you use this method you kind of just have to hope that your partner was paying attention enough to remember these minute details.

4. Enlist a Friend:

If you don’t want to tell your partner directly what you want, have a friend or family do it. Give them all of the information about the styles you like, stones, metal types, etc. They can then “help” your partner when it comes time to go ring shopping and make sure all of your opinions are voiced. One thing to be mindful of however, while friends and family mean well, sometimes we’ve seen instances where friends give advice based on the ring *they* want you to have vs. the ring *you* want you to have. Make sure this person only communicates what you want, and doesn’t confuse things with their own opinions.

5. Tell Your Partner:

It’s not wrong to just come out directly and tell your partner what you want out of your engagement ring and it doesn’t mean that it will necessarily ruin any sort of “surprise.” this is really the only way to let your partner know exactly what ring you want with 100% peace of mind that they got the message. There’s no shame in asking for what you want! It doesn’t make you demanding, it just means that you have an equal say in the thing you’re going to be wearing everyday, for the rest of your life. It can just be something as simple as your ring size or as complex as one of our clients – make an entire powerpoint detailing the type engagement rings you like and don’t like. It helps your partner out so much, because then they can go get the ring of your dreams and feel confident that they’ve nailed it without the pressure of “getting it right.”

6. Design Your Ring Together:

Couples come into our studio to design the ring together all the time. It’s not uncommon, and it’s actually a really great way for you and your partner to be a united team when it comes to getting engaged. You both get a say in what it looks like, what is costs, when it happens, and are able to make something that represents the both of you. It also doesn’t mean that the surprise of the proposal is ruined. Yes, you were involved in the creation of your ring, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily know when the proposal is coming.

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No matter what tactic you use, either sparking a hint, or being direct and having honest conversations with your partner, make sure that you’re working towards what you want in your relationship and your ring.

We drop a lot of engagement ring advice on our instagram, and that’s where you’ll find all of our wallpapers, so make sure to follow us.
If you’re ready to find out everything you need to know before buying an engagement ring, download our free guide here.